019: The Truth is Out There!

Now, when your weapons are dulled, your ardor damped, your strength exhausted and your treasure spent, other chieftains will spring up to take advantage of your extremity. Then no man, however wise, will be able to avert the consequences that must ensue. - Sun Tzu

THE TRUTH ABOUT GOD
I was poring through the net when I stumbled upon Sun Tzu's Art of War and it got me thinking: this blog is really sapping my energy. Which is strange. After all it's only a blog, at best a collection of my random thoughts on spiritual matters or at its worst, incoherent rantings on religion. The magnitude of the subject matter can be pretty overwhelming! I guess if I just accept the fact that when I die, I end up worm food (as one reader suggested), then all there's left for me to do is just to take it easy, get laid and die happy. But I can't. I have gone past the point of no return here. I have discovered far too much to just simply shrug it off and say, ""There is no God. I'm gonna go out and celebrate my liberation, get laid until I develop a cardiac arrest and die happy". Problem is, things just don't add up.

I believe that one of the many religions in the world hold the truth about all of this. Now before you go on and say that all religions preaches goodness and that no religion can be wrong, yadda, yadda, yadda, consider for a moment what we're dealing with here. Truth.

In my opinion, truth is absolute. Something is either right or it is wrong. The only time it can be both right and wrong is if you haven't proven either. It's like Quantum Physics and Schrodinger's Cat. Erwin Schrodinger proposed an experiment to explain the theory of superposition by placing a cat in a lead box with a vial of cyanide. As long as the box is not opened, the cat is both dead and alive. But as soon as we finally open the box, the truth will be revealed, either way. Heh! I thought it might be fun to screw with your brain a little!

Here's another one. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES!
Which brings us back to the truth about our beliefs. Let's go right to the very end and take a look at the choices we all have. Here are the possible scenarios when we finally kick the bucket:

1. When you die, either heaven or hell awaits you.
2. When you die, you reincarnate.
3. When you die, you become worm food and nothing else.

I think you would agree that only one of these statements are true. You have to choose your truth. Now, I'm aware that some folks out there will say, "So what? If I die, then die lah. Why worry?" And chances are, these will be the very same people who picked choice number 3 - which is fine! The only problem is, if choice number 1 is the absolute truth, then some of us would be spending all of eternity wondering why we didn't worry about it while we were alive. Of assuming choice number 2 is the truth, then some other of us might be spending our time as a cockroaches wondering why we chose so very wrongly! But if choice number 3 is the truth, then all of humanity hadn't lost much - except maybe everyone could have had a little more fun. But what price would you pay for a little fun?

THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE
Which brings me back to Sun Tzu. Sometimes God is so out of my reach that I come close to giving up this search for Him. But what if He does in fact exist? What then? Would I have deprived myself something great? Would I be inviting the devil in instead? So, what is the truth? I can only hope that we all have that opportunity to learn it for ourselves! If you go to Google and you search for "Christian Lies" or "Islam Lies", you'll be amazed what you learn. You'll have to decide for yourselves whether these articles/commentaries hold water or not! And you'll have to decide the truth matters to you or not.

As for the tree in the forest... yes, it will make a sound when it falls. Or did you have visions of grandeur that perhaps a tree falls only so you can hear it?

a freudian spit generated @ 3:13 PM | |

 
018: Justice is Blind Indeed

Read today that Alabama's Chief Justice, Roy Moore has been suspended from active duty. The reason? For erecting a sculpture of the 10 commandments of God (aptly named the 10 Commandments Monument) in the state judicial building. And his case will be handled by the Public Corruption and White Collar Crime Unit of the state prosecutor's office. So much for good values.

In case you didn't know, U.S. legislators have long preached in their constitution of a "separation of church and state" which means that government and religion must never be in mixed company! Which also means that it's unconstitutional to have prayers in school or any government organisations. Don't you just love it when Americans say "God Bless America"?

Now, what exactly is so offensive about the 10 commandments anyway? The scripture tells us that God gave to Moses (or Moshe or Musa) the 10 commandments; engraved in 2 stone tablets specially made for the Israelites. These are "rules" for living life, and are for the general good of man - a moral code, as it were. Of course not everyone believes that the 10 commandments are divine.

Recently there has been quite an interesting topic on PPS' public forum that discusses religion and beliefs (thanks to Tariq Kamal). In the forum, many points-of-view have been shared. But one argument got me thinking: is religion (or god) really responsible for our morality? There was a suggestion that man (and most animals) possess an innate disposition of selflessness, or altruism. This forms a part of our genetic make-up that makes us, well, humane.

The question on my mind is; was altruism god-given? Or is that just the way it is? For that matter, was the 10 commandments god-given or man-made?

Some people prefer, man-made. And why not? If god didn't exist, and never gave man the 10 commandments, life would be far more convenient. You could steal small things, get away with it and say, "It's OK. That commandment was man-made." Or you could screw your neighbour's wife 3 times a week and not have to worry about divine repercussions. You could dump your annoying mother-in-law in the old folks' home to rot and not have to worry about this pesky "man-made" commandments about "honouring thy father and mother." Life would be a lot less complicated. Because like it or not, the 10 commandments aren't all that easy to adhere to! Try keeping commandments 5, 6 or 9 and you'll know for sure.

Which kind of makes you wonder, assuming the 10 commandments were just plain old man-made rules, why on earth didn't Moses make it easier or more convenient? If Moses had come to the Israelites with more practical commandments, then perhaps people would be more ready to accept his religion! Just imagine, if you were an Israelite in the time of Moses, and he came back to you with these 10 commandments:

I. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. Unless it is Money, Power or Sex.
II. Thou shalt not make graven images of God, except for profit.
III. Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain, unless thou redefineth "vain".
IV. Thou shalt honour thy mother and father for the sake of thy inheritance.
V. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt only taketh what thou can gettest.
VI. Thou shalt not bear false witness unless to protect thyself.
VII. Thou shalt not kill if thou wants witnesses.
IIX. Thou shalt not have sexual relations with that woman, Mr. President.
IX. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife and possession unless he is out.
X. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath holy if that is convenient.

It's failsafe! It will be the best thing in religion. Everyone will be happy and there will be no more fighting. And if that were truly god's will then everyone will go to heaven because God's decrees will never be broken. Think about this for awhile. It's not at all impossible. If these were rules established at the dawn of civilisation, we'd have a very different world today.

Why, oh why didn't Moses just cook up easier commandments? Why would any man create a set of rules that would inconvenient everyone including himself? If Moses were a hot-blooded guy just like the rest of us, I'm sure he wouldn't mind a little frolic in the hay every now and then. Unless God really did tell him so; "These are My standards. Keep them, Sparky!" Now, you might say, maybe Moses was just a highly moral guy with a great imagination to match. But then, I can assure you many of us out there consider ourselves moral too - by our standards, of course, not God's. Reminds me of a joke:

God goes to the French and offers them the 10 Commandments. "What are they?" asked the Frenchies. "Well, one of them is 'Thou shalt not commit adultery'". "But that's our way of life," protested the French, "Nope, we don't want your commandments!" So God then approaches the Arabs. "What are they?" asked the Arabs. God, having gotten wiser since his encounter with the French then said "Well, amongst them is 'Thou shalt not steal'". "Oh no, we can't use those. We like to steal!" said the Arabs. Dejected, God then turns to the Jews, "Would you like the 10 Commandments?" "How much are they?" enquired the Jews. "Why, they're absolutely free," said God. And the Jews replied, "In that case, we'll take two!"

Poor Roy Moore. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been suspended had he just put a sculpture of a golden calf instead of that horrible 10 Commandment Monument. God bless America. Aaaaah... doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart?


a freudian spit generated @ 11:35 PM | |

 
017: God & Man - Who Created Whom?

In my last blog, I had received some comments which I think should not go unanswered. However the magnitude of the subject matter deserves an entire blog of its own. The first thing I would like to clarify is: I am NOT looking for religion, I'm looking for God. Now I expect some people will tell me that it's one and the same thing but I think not. If you look at some of the religions of the world, it's hard to see how any God would want to be associated with some of the things that go on there!

FINDING GOD
But that said, I believe in a Creator. I believe that we were created. And I believe that if we trace our history based on religious text, cross-reference that to archaeological findings, and compare that to what anthropologists have discovered about myths and folklore, we WILL find what our ancestors have always known - that there IS a god. The task will be arduous but I think the result could be very satisfying indeed. I could liken this search to how an adopted child might search for his parents. And if ever that day came, that I would be right there face to face with God, I'd certainly have a bit to say to the guy! "Where the heck were you that day when I caught my wee-wee in my zipper?". Haha. That, of course is just an example. Or I might ask him something inane, "Do you have to eat, or get your haircut in heaven?" (anyone recognise that line?) Stuff like that.

In his (I assume you are a guy) comment, Huajern said that if people accepted that there is no BIG purpose in life then life would be simpler and we'd have no need for opiates. Would that truly be the case? Karl Marx remarked that "religion is the opium of the masses." In fact, one of the foundations of communism is the rejection of God. When Charles Darwin propose his Theory of Evolution, he opened up a can of worms that would eventually form the pillars of communism. But where is communism now? The axioms were sound and the theories infallible and yet, man, left to his own devices man just screws himself over! When man makes himself up as the supreme being, what else could you have expected. If there are no repercussions in our actions in this life, we're pretty much free to do just about anything as long as we never get caught. That, in itself is a frightening thought.

CREATION VS EVOLUTION
As for evolution, what is it if not just another belief system? Now lest you get me wrong, let me reiterate that I accept some of Darwin's theories - like his thoughts on natural selection. But the Big Bang? It can't ever be conclusively proven. As for man's evolution from apes, there is still the 'missing link' to contend with. We have uncovered so many bones and yet the missing link continues to elude us, thereby leaving Darwin's theory inconclusive. And yet, a fraction of mankind still subscribe to this unproven idea. Isn't that a little bit like religion too? You can't prove it, but you continue to put your faith in it. The only difference is, the 'religion' of evolution has no moral centre! But hey, looking at the way some people behave these days, it might not be all that inconceivable that we came from apes after all. Take a good look at the parliament and I'm sure you'll agree!

As for dinosaurs, you'll find plenty of answers, if you were really looking. And if you ask, "Hey, what about carbon dating and all that shit?" Well, there are answers to that as well. It all boils down to what you want to believe in.

THE PROOF IS IN THE PIE?
Atheists may ask, can god be proven? Maybe not. But an article I read in Reader's Digest last year suggests that the human brain is hardwired to believe in god. Researcher at the University of Pennsylvania suggest that a "higher reality is real and not inconsistent with science". In psychology, this is true as well, to an extent. For those of you who are familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, then you might agree that it is in our innate nature to seek our creator as part of our need for self-actualisation when all our other needs have been fulfilled. And that's just the way we were made. So what's the deal with that anyway? To me, god is like that itch at the base of my skull - I know it's there, I feel it there but for the life of me, I can't bloody scratch the damn thing! And that's what this is all about - scratching that itch!

And another thing about proving God is; while you can't prove with absolute certainty that He exists, you can't prove that he doesn't. So, what we have on our hands is a stalemate! So is there really a god? I would like to think so. And if many more people think so, there might be hope for mankind. Now, before you give me any shit about how religions is the cause of most of the wars being fought around the world, I'm asking you to think that through. Would we really fight each other if we truly, truly believed? We'd be too busy evangelising!

a freudian spit generated @ 12:48 PM | |

 
016: Holes In The Theory of Holy War

This post is probably not as timely as I hoped it would be, but I guess this blog was never really meant to vent my feelings about world affairs. Still, the Bali Bomber is too large a figure for me to ignore. Yes, I'm talking about Amrozi. If you haven't heard of this guy then you must have been on another planet all this while. On 12th October 2002, this guy detonated a car-bomb in the busiest district in Bali, killing 202 people. On 7th August 2003, the Indonesian Court found him guilty and sentenced him to death.

Throughout the entire trial, Amrozi, 41, made fun of prosecution witnesses, smiled in defiance at all and sundry, and even posed for press photographers. It seemed like the magnitude of his crime has somehow eluded him. And this guy wants to die a martyr! Similiarly, the mastermind of the bombing, Imam Samudra too, has proclaimed to the world that he'd "like to say thank you to the prosecution team, which has demanded the death sentence. Because in death we live peacefully, and in death we draw near to God"! Now how twisted is that?

IS IT ISLAMIC?
The Quran is clear about waging war in defense Islam:

"To those against whom war is made, permission is given (to defend themselves), because they are wronged - and verily, Allah is Most Powerful to give them victory - (they are) those who have been expelled from their homes in defiance of right - (for no cause) except that they say, 'Our Lord is Allah'..." - The Holy Quran, 22:39-40

"Fight in the cause of Allah against those who fight against you, but do not transgress limits. Lo! Allah loves not transgressors" - The Holy Quran, 2:190

With the kind of publicity Muslim militants have been generating since 9/11, Jihad has come to mean "holy war". According to Muslims, Jihad is far more than just taking up arms - it is also taken to mean "striving for the cause of Allah". The Hadith records Muhammad's quotes on Jihad.

"Aisha, wife of the Prophet asked, 'O Messenger of Allah, we see jihad as the best of deeds, so shouldn't we join it?' He replied, 'But the best of jihad is a perfect Haj (pilgrimage to Mecca).'" - Sahih Al-Bukhari, No. 2784

"'What kind of jihad is better?' He replied, 'A word of truth in front of an oppressive ruler!'" - Sunan Al-Nasa'i , No. 4209

If you have kept up with the affairs of the Bali bombings, you would realise that of the 202 casualties, 88 were Australians, 38 Indonesians, 26 were British, and the rest, tourists from all over. This clearly demonstrates that Amrozi and Samudra are obviously not the smartest terrorists in the world, since their primary target were the Americans.

TOO STUPID FOR GOD
Over the last few months, the world has been treated with press photos of that schmuck Amrozi smiling from ear to ear, thinking that he's done Islam a favour when all he'd done was a whole load of damage! In my opinion, terrorists are not particularly smart people, despite their ability to plot massive terror campaigns. Come on, people, do you really think you're doing your religion/cause a favour when you go round bombing stuff? You really think that by putting the fear into the people's heart they will feel sympathy for you? That's just stupid! Stop that shit right now before I come there and smack you silly!

That said, let me clarify that I'm not trivialising the dangers that terrorists pose. After all, it has been said, "do not underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

a freudian spit generated @ 12:34 AM | |

 
015: Night of the Hungry Ghosts

Today is the 14th day of the 7th month in the Lunar Calendar and it marks the "Yue Laan Chit" - The Hungry Ghost Festival. For the uninitiated, the Hungry Ghost Festival observed by the Chinese Taoist and is somewhat like Halloween with one major difference. You won't see any Chinese kids out trick-or-treating. This is because they don't want to bump into the things that go... well, bump in the night.

In the Chinese Taoist folklore, on the 7th month of the Lunar Year, the gates of hell are opened and the ghosts and demons are released to the world to find food. It's sort of like a time-off for good behaviour! In any case, throughout the 7th month, these minions of hell roam the earth, basically looking for food.

WHEN EVIL WALK THE EARTH
Now, as these hellions (pun intended) go, these guys do get into some mischief as well. Some will just release their pent-up frustrations (they have been, after all, subject to some incredible torture in hell) giving us living folks some spectacular paranormal fanfare. Other ghosts might have a bone to pick with the living, so revenge is in the cards! Still others might just want to visit a loved one - forcefully if necessary. And therefore, as the Chinese go, its best not to roam the streets at night unless you want to be possessed, or worse. Chinese kids are also advised against swimming, for fear that the restless spirits of drowning victims might seek revenge against the living.

Throughout the month, you'll see many small fires by the roadside, burning with a host of netherworld delights - like joss sticks, incense paper, hell currencies and of course, food and wine. These offerings are made to ward off evil, or rather to buy-off the ghosts so they don't come bother you. Some Chinese believe that these offerings also bring luck to the household. You'll also see some Chinese Opera Show out in the open, sometimes performing even when no one's watching. This is done so that the ghosts are entertained and will therefore not bother anyone. Chinese friends tell me that the front row seats are reserved for the spirits - so don't go sitting anywhere you like! Now, make no mistakes about this, these spirits are evil - even if they are ghosts of our ancestors, which is why you'll notice that offerings are always made outside the house!

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?
I wonder at which point in history did the Chinese start observing the Hungry Ghost Festival. I might be wrong, but the problem with Taoism is that not a lot of the rites and rituals are particularly well-documented. I have scoured the Tao Te Ching (which is supposedly THE authoritative literature for the practice of Taoism) for evidence of this sort of practice but I could find none. Then again, the Chinese's religion has become something of a mixed-nuts of beliefs, with elements of Confucianism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and god knows what else! In fact some stories even mention Buddha in the origins of the Hungry Ghost Festival, so now I'm not even sure if this is a Taoist belief or a Buddhist one.

But the big question I have is this: What are the implications of making offerings to evil spirits? I have even heard stories of Chinese Priests and Malay Bomohs keeping and feeding evil spirits as pets (a subject which I would like to explore some time in the future). Is this part of the religion?

WHERE IS GOD IN THIS EQUATION?
The Chinese obviously believe in god/s. In fact if you go to a Chinese Taoist home, you'll likely find a myriad of idols that represent the different gods which leads me to believe that Taoists do believe in god. But if that is the case, why is it then necessary to make offerings to spirits for protection or blessings? Isn't that what god is for?

This leads to yet another question: why aren't evil spirits mentioned in the Tao Te Ching? In fact, there isn't even a mention of a god, much less a host of gods! Did something get lost in the translations? Are Chinese Taoists actually practising Taoism? Could it have been that Lao Tzu's descriptions in the Tao Te Ching were so vague that when passed on down to the later generations, its original, intended meanings were unavoidably misinterpreted? Or could it have been that along the passage of time, outside influences have evolved this religion into something completely different?

I don't know enough of Taoism or Confucianism or even Buddhism to put a finger on this whole thing. And I hope there are practising Taoists out there who can shed a light on the matter. Because the idea of making offerings to evil spirits creeps me out a little. Now I'm beginning to wonder if I should even have written this blog on the Night of the Hungry Ghosts!!!! If you don't see any more updates here, then you know.

a freudian spit generated @ 11:55 PM | |

 
014: Have a Taste of Freud Noodle

I've decided to qualify myself and this blog that I keep. I'd like to think it's good manners to do so, seeing as to how this blog's readership is slowly climbing. To put it all in perspective, I give you some choice thoughts from Sigmund Freud's noggin - Freud noodle, if you prefer!

"I am actually not at all a man of science, not an observer, not an experimenter, not a thinker. I am by temperament nothing but a conquistador - an adventurer, if you want it translated - with all the curiosity, daring, and tenacity, characteristic of a man of this sort."

"From error to error, one discovers the entire truth."

"The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization."

Then again, Freud also had this to say; "Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from its readiness to fit in with our instinctual wishful impulses." Perhaps I am deluding myself with visions of grandeur that the Creator might reveal himself to me through this blog, but hey, stranger things have happen!

And yes, some people think Freud is full of shit too.

a freudian spit generated @ 5:45 PM | |

 
013: A Gay Bishop? Heaven Forbid!

Rev. Gene Robinson was ordained as the first openly-gay bishop in the New Hampshire Episcopal Church yesterday. It's a victory for gay activists and supporters everywhere. It's a step up for human rights, some people say. It's all good, except for one small problem: the very Bible from which the happy preacher preaches, forbids homosexuality!

You can find it in the bible. In Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." In the same book, 20:13 commands, "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." This instruction against homosexuality is reiterated again and again in the epistles to the Romans, Corinthians and Timothy. There can be no doubt about this, the Bible FORBIDS homosexuality! The big question is, Isn't it hypocrisy for a gay preacher to preach the word of god?

I expect this post to infuriate a lot of gays and gay sympathisers. I'm sorry if you feel this way. But this is really not an issue about Gene Robinson's sexual orientation. It's about the hypocrisy of a Church that elects a man who doesn't believe in the bible, to preach that very same bible. It's about credibility. Would you mengaji Quran from a pig-eating Uztaz? Would you accept the teachings of a Buddhist Monk who is a whore-house-harrier? Should Sikhs accept the teachings of a shaved-bald guru? How can you preach anything to anyone when you don't even believe it yourself? Can an animal-hater be the president of RSPCA? Can a gay-hater be the leader of Gay Rights activists? Can a member of Ku Klux Klan head the Anti-Apartheid Movement? I think not.

I can accept Gene Robinson in almost any capacity - Advocate of Civil Rights, Director of Amnesty International, MP for Kepong, Secretary General of the United Nations, Leader of the Free World... heck, even as my favourite uncle Gene it ever that happens! But not as a Bishop of a church that preaches the Bible in which Rev. Robinson does not believe. I wouldn't accept the Word of God from him. Neither would I accept it from a polygamous Protestant preacher.

While we're on the subject, here's something else that irks me. Some churches do not accept gay parishoners. I cannot accept this. Gays are humans too. And if you believe in god, then gays are god's children as well. They deserve the same salvation as anyone else. They deserve to be allowed to worship if they so choose. Of course they'll need to deal with their own beliefs and lifestyles when they read the bible - but ultimately, it's about choices. Some churches have started opening their doors to gays. Perhaps as a gesture of acceptance. Or perhaps to try to "rehabilitate" or "save" them. Whatever reason they do it, I think it's a noble thing.

But for the Episcopal Church, you have made a farce of the very religion you preach. Was this out of your need to be a "popular" church? Is this your idea of a "reformed" church? Are you compromising the church's values to gain acceptance? For God's sake, take a stand! What do you Anglicans have to say about yourselves? What about you Protestants? What about you Catholics? What have you got to say about all this?

I once asked a gay friend why he didn't prefer girls. His answer left me perplexed to this day. He answered, "Why don't you prefer guys?". He was a gay but no one can ever call him a hypocrite.

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS REPOSTED DUE TO TECHNICAL ERROR. ANY INCONVENIENCE IS REGRETTED

a freudian spit generated @ 3:56 PM | |

 
012: Holy Scriptures, Batman !

I've decided to compile all the links of the holy scriptures that I can find online - at the very least, the books of the religions practiced here in Malaysia. Apart from believers of the Quran or Bible, most of the rest of us probably have never read any holy scripture of any religion, much less the ones we practice, like Hinduism, Taoism or Sikhism. (I'm only assuming, so don't shoot me if I'm wrong!)

Lao Tzu's writings in Tao Te Ching have formed the basis of Taoism. It's really very abstract and you'll probably find many translations. Here's another version, which in my opinion is easier to understand. Unfortunately, Tao Te Ching as it is available today may not be all that accurate since, apparently all original text or early publications were destroyed during the Cultural Revolution in Mao's China. What we have of the TTC today has been rewritten from memory.

For the Hindu's the Bhagavad Gita was so sacred that only the Brahmin's were allowed to read it, so I am told. The Brahmin's were members of the elite caste - the priests. This is purportedly the oldest holy scripture ever and was originally written in Sanskrit.

Sikhism is a relatively new religion, having only a history of 500 years or so behind it. Still, today it's the 5th largest religion with 20 million devotees. It's sacred text , the Adi Granth (aka Sri Guru Granth) purportedly contains elements of Hinduism and some Islam and Christianity. Now, I don't know much about Sikhism so I would appreciate any enlightenment on the subject.

For Buddhists, the scriptures are in different books, in a collective known as the Tipitaka (or Tripitaka) which means the "3 baskets". Since it's a vast body of work consisting thousands of pages, it's almost impossible to find a complete translation on the internet. What's available online is merely a fraction of the entire text. A practicing Buddhist once told me that Buddhism does not actually talk about a creator and is therefore more appropriately a philosophy than a religion. Therefore, it might not be appropriate to call the Tipitaka a "holy book".

Most Christians regard the King James Version of the bible to be the most accurate translation, since it was supposedly translated from the original. However, in the Protestant version, a series of additions, the Apocrypha have been removed since Protestants consider these to be man's addition to the Word of God. These were found only in the Greek version of the Old Testament and not in the original Hebrew bible. Still, I have compiled it here for the sake of reference.

For the Muslims, the Quran in any other language cannot be considered the literal word of Allah SWT. But for the rest of us who don't do so well in Arabic, the English version will have to do for now.

I would truly have liked to read all of these but I can only claim to have read bits and pieces here and there. Here's a quote I find most interesting from a certain Samuel Butler, "An apology to the Devil - it must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case. God has written all the books."

Still I hope this will be helpful for anyone out there looking for god. And lest you have misunderstood me from my previous posts, I'm looking too.

a freudian spit generated @ 1:32 PM | |

 
011: To Hell with a Taoist

Recently I have had a unique opportunity to talk to a Taoist priest (Lam Mor Low in Cantonese) at a Chinese funeral. The guy was on his cigarette break after doing a set (about 45 mins) very late into the night and thought nothing of letting out a bit of industry info. Now this guy went to a polytechnic school but decided that inheriting his family business of doing "ta chai" (funeral rites) to be more lucrative.

Anyway, if you've ever asked where you go after you die, here's the Taoist version. I'll intersperse the commentary so you know which is you, dead and which is the reality that your family goes through:

When you die, you won't know that you're gone. Your consciousness at that point will just be like your everyday life. You'll go about your everyday business, doing your everyday thing - going to work, eating, taking a shit and so on. And then on the seventh day, you will find that you have a foul body odour - this BO is, of course, from your decaying corpse. And so you decide to wash off the stench by bathing in a river. At this point I ask the priest, why not just a conventional shower - he mumbles something incoherent about how his, is a ritual passed on from generations to generations. I don't think he really has answer for that one - but I digress. Anyway, dead ol' you will be bathing in the river, trying to rid the smell when pieces of your rotting flesh will just drop off. By then it will finally hit you that you've bought the farm, kicked the bucket! You'll be scared and you'll cry and cry and then when you're about done, right there at the riverbank, they'll be waiting - your new friends, NgauThau and MahMein (Bull Head and Horse Face), the guardians of Hell's gate. At this point they will pull a ring through your nose and lead you away like cattle.

Meanwhile on earth you're family would have done the necessary. At your funeral, a fire is kept burning with incense paper. This lights your way so you can find hell (yes boy, that's where you're headed). If the light goes out, you stumble and hurt yourself and arrive at hell wounded and you pretty much stay that way throughout the duration of your stay. Also your crying and wailing will occassionally be hear by the living. Anyway, by the time you get to Day 7, you would have been buried or cremated. Your family would observe prayers on Day 7 and everyone is instructed to sleep early cos they know you're coming home.

First stop is home. You get your last visit with your loved ones. Too bad if they're not home. Anyway, you can see them and even touch them but don't even think of doing your wife one last time, it's not permitted. Next stop, kitchen. You get your last meal in your kitchen if you can find it.

At this point your family would already be fast asleep. This is so that they never run into your two new friends Bullhead and Horseface - the encounter could well make them the next to go! According to the priest, sometimes families can actually hear their dear departed creating a ruckus in the kitchen with the pots and pans. Taoist families always prepare food and set it on the table so you don't wake the... erm... living. Some smart alecks even sprinkle tapioca flour on the floor so that they can see ghostly footprints. Apparently, this works so go try it. Heh!

After your last meal, you go to hell. You cross the Bridge of Forgetfulness where you forget your past life. By then you'll meet other guys just like you. You will all be led into the Kindom of Hell whereupon you will be presented to YuenLauWong (the King of Hell) himself. Then hell begins; you'll be tortured for all your sins on earth. Thieves have their hands cut-off, liars lose their tongues, fornicators get their genitalia mutilated, adulterors get that too with an extra - a hot metal rod up the ass and so on. And if you ate animals while you were alive, they'll be back to return the favour. After serving your sentence in hell, you finally get reincarnated. Since you were a criminal, you'll be planted back on earth (this here is like some cosmic prison) and you get a fresh new start with the promise that if you never do anything wrong you can ascend to heaven.

The promise of Heaven is good but I think it's a little too good to be true. I don't think anyone can ever avoid lying or stealing but that's a whole new post altogether. And since you can't remember shit about your ordeal in Hell, you can almost be certain that you'll be back down there! In John Milton's Paradise Lost, Satan says that it's "Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heav'n". Today, some people take this line as their personal mantra. No Pointdexter, you don't get to reign cos you're not Satan. You just burn and get tortured a lot.

And no, you never get to be the Vampire guy in those 80's Hongkie movies! And to think that dying is an easy way out...


a freudian spit generated @ 6:01 PM | |

 
010: The World's Religions in Bukit Bintang

I wish I had seen this earlier! In yesterday's Star Metro.

To promote better understanding, respect and appreciation of the world religions, Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM) and Konrad-Adenauer-Foundation recently launch the World Religions - Universal Peace - Global Ethnic exhibition for the first time in Asia.

Imagine it! The first time in Asia. And it's all happening at Bukit Bintang, the bustling metropolitan of our country. Now here's an opportunity to learn about god after getting your dose of hawkers and hookers. Or stores and whores. Or foodie and footie. Sorry, couldn't resist!

This is happening at the Wisma Kebudayaan SGM at No. 243, Jalan Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur from 27 July - 5 Aug 2003 at 11:00 am to 8:00 pm daily. Call Woo Swee Foong at 03-2713 7321 or Katherine Chui at 03-9075 6876 for enquiries. Some major religions will be featured, namely Islam, Buddhism, Chinese Religions, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Sikhism, Bahai Faith and indigenous religions.

Sigh* Looks like I might not make this since it ends Tuesday and I only saw it in the papers just now. Crap! If anyone manages to get there, I'd sure appreciate a review of some sort!

a freudian spit generated @ 2:07 AM | |

 
009: Who's Winning the Human Race?

There's been quite a bit of juicy talk about race and racism over the last few days. This has always been a favourite subject for me. How did we humans evolve into a race of many colours? And god forbid, how ever did we evolve to become such pricks - always at each other's throats?

According to the bible, God wiped out the entire world with the Great Flood. Only Noah (Nuh in the Quran) and his family was spared. Thereon, his family multiplied and generations were spawned from his very loins.

Then soon after, there's the story of the Tower Of Babel in Christian and Jewish scripture that records of mankind's attempt to build a high tower to reach the heavens so they will be remembered for all ages. God then thwarts their plans and falls their pride by "confounding their language" and mankind from that point thereafter, were strewn all over the earth, hence the multitude of races that we have today. All from a time when the earth was of "one language and one speech".

Now all of this happened in the Middle East (specifically in Babylon, now Iraq), where most of scripture concentrates. Basically, that's means that at one point of our lineage, we were all from thereabouts. Today, archaeologists have traced most of the world's population back to the African continent. Incidentally, Iraq lies in the crotch of Africa and Asia. But I'll leave you to make your own conclusions on that.

If you believe the story of Babel, then you must see that our separated ethnicity is a product of our pride. And even today, it is that very same pride that further separates us. Racism. War. Ethnic Cleansing. And that "who-came-first-gets-first" shit. It's happening all over. In Palestine. In Malaysia. Everyone's too proud to say, "let's share". How many more times must our Towers of Babel crumble before we finally learn to make peace?

George Santayana said it best, "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." Assuming you can consider the holy scriptures to be a source of history, of course.

a freudian spit generated @ 12:27 PM | |